THE ASTROLOGY of POSITIONS, PERSPECTIVES, & METAPHYSICS
by Boots Hart, CAP
Showing posts with label Astrology of Emotionality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Astrology of Emotionality. Show all posts

Monday, October 21, 2013

Sun in Scorpio: The Edict Human


  A solar prominance as photographed by NASA (September 2006)

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I make no bones about it: the following post is written in an entirely
subjective voice. My feelings are passionate, obvious and one-sided,
which is the gist of where we all start with Scorpio, a sign which stirs us
internally and which challenges us to then merge and marry that to the
world around us through the people and opportunities we encounter.
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Whether we are able to be honest with ourselves is where we start.
Then Scorpio evolves, becoming a journey through finding out
how honest we are willing to be with others - and how honestly
we will deal with them and grow ourselves to our full emotional potential.
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Wherever Scorpio is in your chart (by house cusp) symbolizes the
manner in which  you will experience Scorpio. That house describes both
the positive and negative tools you will tend to utilize in the various forms
of interaction Scorpio asks that we master and the area of life in which
you will either grow...or where you will experience your greatest
defeats - defeats which amount to self-incarceration through
succumbing to those weaknesses you refuse to face.

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A few weeks ago now, I had come to a breaking point with my own ability to deny an emotional truth. That truth had to do with my own feelings, the emotional intensity of a relationship which was a faceted ball of glittering silence, the deeply buried emotionality of the other person…and why it all wasn’t working.

Like Scorpionic magma, words forced their way up through a throat which was helpless to be constrained as his isolation translated into my torture, as so often is the undermining mechanism which manifests through Scorpio fusions. The layers of emotions melted and refrozen which had become our shroud of lies would have been our Scorpio wealth had we not converted them into a toxic source of excuses.

We had borrowed from our souls, creating an unpayable emotional debt which in the beautiful if cruel realm of Scorpio meant that instead of working on mutual compromises we were instead pitting our ideals (social, societal or otherwise) against the reality of life including the messy realities so very much a part of what life is.

And thus, instead of facing our own fears in each other's presence, allowing the understanding of ideas and ideals to bring to flower something beautiful and intimately reconciled by our very human imperfections...

…instead we ended up compromising ourselves.

Instead of conceiving our Scorpio rebirth to mutuality, we each choose our conceptualized death of Self.

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I have a Scorpio Moon, so I know from what I speak. Anyone with any significant placement in Scorpio (and you know who you are) understands how the Scorpio process will always tempt us to deny the reality of the necessity to be human.

Our temptation to run away. That will always tempt us just as surely as the ease with which - in our Scorpio fears - we can be flagrantly diverted into falling prey to someone else’s manipulated truth – a truth they generally preach while we stand there starkly afraid of...and for our naked, human, life.

And where courage can't sustain us, our fears will drive us mad.

Scorpio tempts us to be the person who preaches but does not practice, much as Scorpio tempts us to practice what is preached even though that will deny us the full experience of being human.

Sometimes I think such ‘rules’ are made up just because someone was so sorely afflicted by their own fears that they couldn’t cope. So they come up with a ‘rule’ and hope that by stamping ‘that’ out, they won’t have to think about it any more.

That isn’t to say Scorpio doesn’t support rules. Well, not rules per se, but boundaries. Rules are theoretical – and thus the providence of air signs.  “Boundaries” is an earth term, and that’s still not Scorpio, though because Scorpio is water in its ‘fixed’ mode, we do think of it astrologically as ice – and who hasn’t experienced iciness as someone’s emotional expression of their absolute solid boundary?

One of the Crystal Ice Caves in California's Lava Beds National Monument
(photo credit: National Park Service)
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(If you haven’t, please take one halo from petty cash and thank your lucky stars.)

But when it comes to dealing with the ‘you can’t, because’ power of rules, with Scorpio this becomes a duality sort of thing – which is fitting, as Scorpio is one of three zodiac signs with dual rulers.

Note to anyone human reading this: two of those three signs are water signs. That’s probably a good clue as to how hard our emotional lives are…and on a metaphysical level, how hard they’re supposed to be.

And here so many of us think feeling should just be easy. Uh, no. Apparently not.

But back to the Scorpio duality…the operational imperatives of Scorpio in the world of ‘you can’t, because’ has the choice part of the equation (to do or not to do) which astrology sees as set off by Martian motion…and the response-reaction-implication OF the choice, that thing which comes of choosing to – or choosing not to (or which you choose) which none of us can known going in.

That would be the Pluto part.

The thing about Scorpio situations which we see pictured there is that they are and aren’t all about us. We do get choices. We can choose to opt in or opt out…and we can choose what we opt into or opt out of.

Many is the time I have said that Scorpio is all about the testing of our self worth, our security, our satisfaction with our lives and our self respect. And here’s where that comes in. Those who choose productively, grow in security and life power. Those who don’t – those who ‘play it safe’ are using some of that Scorpio energy to build a wall.

The problem with those walls is that by definition, they are limiting. And if you know anything about the power of ice…or in Scorpio’s alternative natural guise – a swamp – you know you are dealing with the power of glaciers and massive icebergs or the power of quicksand to pull you in and bury you in immobility.

In Scorpio – the boundaries you mind or don’t mind are emotional. They may be voiced as ideas (to you or by you), but we interpret them as emotional “edicts” and we respond to them – and thus decide whether to follow or not follow (aka comply or not comply) with them based on where we stand with our own emotionality.

That basis of judgment is the Taurean polarity for Scorpio – the ‘individual “learned” basis’ upon which we formulate our opinion of self, from which we derive self worth or insecurities galore. And when that gets ‘activated’ in a Scorpio situation, the ‘interactive’ quality of Scorpio forces us back on that personal basis of judgment – our inner Taurean security…and thus all Scorpio decisions and feelings about our decisions rely on our self worth and inner security…which once tapped and activated, reacts.

ENTER THE SCORPIO QUANDARY…our purpose for following or not following the ‘rule’ is also emotional – it’s all about the solidity of our convictions, with convictions being the stuff of which Scorpio determination and decision making is made.

Again, this is a two-part system. Part One is known as “how well do you know yourself?” and Part Two is “how realistic are you about what you need in order to thrive and grow as a healthy human being?”

This is where – especially in our modern, interconnected society – most of us seem to get our mental knickers in a twist (which is a really evocative mental image, if nothing else). There is so much pressure to adhere and accede to societal images and “judgments” about what matters to us that we often neglect our real Self in the process of, or effort to comply with some ‘you should want this’ or ‘you should operate in this manner’ which may not be consistent with not just our needs, but the very situation.

That brings up the Scorpio requirement to know ourselves, and to know when we can support the idea but not participate in it for ourselves. Or when we need to stop and examine the situation as so often situations look one way, but in reality are another thing altogether. If we simply look at the 'edict' ('edict' being a truly Scorpio word) we realize that as situations, relationships, interactions evolve…they may or may not be within the original scope of the most important edict of all in this lift: the one which says we need to be who we are, for that is the person we bring - and need to bring - to any situation, effort or relationship.

What Scorpio brings to bear here is the energetic which seeks to lure us with the allure to want to follow not because it's 'right,' but because it’s easier to negate, sell out and sublimate ourselves...even if that means we’re back at that Scorpio denial thing.

But being a martyr is good, you say? Well...usually not in ScorpioLand. The idea of being ‘the martyr for the cause’ is either a Sagittarian (to stand as a lightning rod for the idea) or Piscean (to embody and lead mass emotionality) thing.

Which really means that true martyrdom is done in the cause of ‘many,’ not Self. And Scorpio is not truly pluralistic. That’s the providence of the last four signs of the zodiac (Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces), not the second four signs (Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio).

In constellation Sagittarius, the star nursery of M17 reveals new stars
(photo credit: ESO)

The quadruplicities (groups of four zodiac signs) are all about just that – groupings. The first four (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer) are singular/individual, the second four (Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio) are me-and-thee or small 'group units' and that sort of thing. But ‘mass movements’ are the purview of the last quadruplicity: Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
 
So if you’re thinking of martyring yourself under some Scorpio banner…while I’m tempted to make a Dante-esque joke of ‘it should be labeled Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here’ type (yes, I’m a fan of Dante’s very not funny ‘Divine Comedy’ – didn’t you know?) the truth is that the the only witness to your martyrdom in the Scorpio sense is generally the same person who will pay the price of it: you.

In other words, this is an influence which often causes us to sacrificing our self respect and the value we could have placed in our individuality by martyring ourselves to some cause which is either entirely temporal or doesn’t give squat about you.

Ideas usually don’t give a squat, after all. Ideas and ideals aren’t human and aren’t feeling. They’re a theoretical standard which human beings have shown to have tens of millions of exceptions, as in "the exception which makes the rule."

And now that I’ve had my chance to do the Dance of the Diatribe all over the Scorpio premise, this applies…why? 

And…to what?

Answer: to the Sun entering Scorpio on October 23rd at 6:11 in the morning, UT/+0 time.

By now, everyone who is the least bit into astrology has heard about the impending Scorpio solar eclipse. You probably felt the onset of its ‘breaking down of your situational walls’ back in early September – there’s a two-month lead-in to solar eclipses and frankly, this one has been particularly trying.

Yes, even painful.

As Venus passed through Scorpio (September 11 – October 7) our hearts were tried and tied and rent by things and situations which apparently we had washed and which now we couldn’t to a darn thing with.

Or about.

This was doubled up on – or even trebled as Mercury entered Scorpio on September 29th, a moment which is now emblazoned on my brain since in the next 48 hours I not only had of the worst headaches of my life, but got reports from at least a dozen other people about headaches and stomach aches in their lives.

In part, Scorpio refers to our ability to handle toxicity and to purge ourselves of that which is toxic. Scorpio asks that we ‘reclaim’ our lost Self (the respect and worth part) – which often…in very much a Scorpio manner… dictates that we will lose before we reclaim. So there was a lot of loss, a lot of reactions to loss, a lot of pain and anguish about what was (and maybe still is) missing in our lives…and all of it took place in this cauldron of Scorpio mentality which, according to Mercury’s schedule, is going to be with us until December.

Yes, December. And my headache, heartache and general life toxicity is so not glad to hear this.

Once Venus moved on into Sagittarius, some of us have moved into a ‘reconsidering’ mode, asking ourselves how we can make our life work better. What will it take? Have we misjudged? Did some idea get in the way of greater truths?

The Sun is the emblem of life and enlightenment; as it enters Scorpio on October 23rd our mental waters will become stiller…and yet deeper. With Mercury having gone retrograde (in Scorpio) on the 21st, this opens the door for a whole new level of intense reflection on what life is, and is for.

It will be a very personal and powerful time. During the near-month of Sun in Scorpio we are all likely to ‘break through’ to some new area of realization, some new recognition of what life is, and isn’t. We will let go of old assumptions and like children emerging from some mythic chrysalis, begin exploring our potentials, our power and our willingness to be who we are on a whole new level and in a whole new way.

I still hold some hope that this evolutionary passage will open a path for my friend and I to reconnect. Our differences are entirely about their desire to adhere to an externalized ethic which in truth we had – in simply knowing each other – eclipsed as people.

Eclipsing happens.

But sometimes the process is hard. And sometimes it takes longer for one person to work through their eclipse work than another.

Learning that what we do doesn’t define us is a primary recognition we all learn at some point. I learned that a long time ago when as a newbee astrologer I did all the busy little calculations to figure out when my Saturn Return was going to be. (Back then we didn’t have computers and astrology programs – it was all paper-and-pencil math.)

My Saturn is in Scorpio, you see…and within twenty minutes of the calculated time, I got hired to write my first “official” motion picture screenplay.

Saturn shown in a false color image as photographed by Voyager 1
(photo credit: NASA-JPL)
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Saturn: emblem of time and earning and career…I had finally hit the big time.

Or so I thought.

As I stood there on the driveway of the producer’s house marveling at what felt to me in that moment like some anointment from on high…it suddenly dawned on me: getting the job was just the start of the work.

So no, the angels didn’t sing. Apparently they were booked for some other gig somewhere else.

Now as my second Saturn return has just completed (and yes, I congratulated myself on getting this far) the real writing which is not about ‘the job of writing’ but about bringing the story I’ve wanted to tell for the whole of my life to life in text.

It's now been shipped off to the press.

Publishing the book (a four-part epic fantasy) is the Saturn work of it. Having invested my time, the intensity of my spirit and my effort to believe I know how to tell this story...that I care enough about it as spend so long crafting a real life very un-fairy tale fantasy embodying all I believe and care about as a human living among other human beings…that’s the Scorpio part.

That being said, it strikes me as ironic (irony is a favorite Scorpio emotion) that in the midst of coming to loggerheads with this person, as I felt the world cracking away around me, I heard them make a reference to the book – as if its publication would compensate me for losing their companionship, their presence, the knowing they were part of my life.

About then, I knew they needed the space, the solitude, even the iciness of Scorpio isolation in which to consciously feel themselves realizing and coalescing their feeling human nature, and why our life as human beings is more important…and worth more…than any theoretical rule.

That’s the real Scorpio edict: we matter. Simply as very human human beings, we matter. And when we matter to each other, that matters more than just about anything else.

To my friend…who may at some point in time read this post…blessed be. Though we may not agree on each and every thing - or its priority - I will love you forever, inclusive of whoever you are in whatever moment. When I left, you looked scared, which reflects in me as an overwhelming fear to think that is the image of you which will forever remain, haunting me until I die my twenty-trillionth death.

I can succumb to being crushed abjectly as happens under Scorpio. I can beg and still be denied resuscitation and Scorpionic redemption through the courage you would need to have to forgive me my frailties. As a person nurtured on the sadistic milk of abandonment, I know how to grieve. As one who has been bound and tied beyond conception, I know you can condemn me to waiting and grieving, eternally seduced by wondering if like Scorpio's mythic Phoenix, our conversation can be resurrected from the ashes and our hearts yet be healed by the touching essence of each other’s emotion-laden, deeply felt, very Scorpionic human existence.

The choice ultimately must be yours, for in my mind I know I will always stand in your presence.

Lost in being found, I merge, I exist.

And without you I will forever yearn, long and wish.

*********************************
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Whether you relate to the depths of feeling expressed above...
...whether you think they're real or not...
understanding how they represent Scorpio's depth of passion
and the many things in life which force us to get in touch with
our emotions and emotional status is a valid Scorpio statement.
Or it could just be me doing a Scorpio number on you.
Do you know the difference - and which would be which?
Are you sure?
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None of our lives are perfect. And while granted, some of us experience
traumas or horrible mistakes which would seem to scar us forever, the
basic teaching of metaphysics remains true. If 'unbeknownst to us, the
universe is unfolding as it should' has any meaning, it means that the
experience of good and bright of life has equal merit with that which is
dark, painful and frightening.
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I remain of the conviction that human connectivity is our best strength,
and that it cannot accomplish its goal at a shallow level. We have not
been created to have things easy - 'from those to whom much is given,
much is expected' means we have the responsibility to accept who we
are, as difficult as that may be.
.----
Power and potency of existence are found where they are found.
They may or may not take the shape that you think they 'ought' to
take, and sometimes our path to enlightenment requires of us that
we walk a road which tests our popularity with everyone but our Self.
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That too is valid. We need to be what we need to be, regardless
of what others say, like or find convenient
As the Zen masters say...walk on.
That is the Scorpio ethic and our edict most human.
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Monday, October 14, 2013

The 25 Aries Lunar Eclipse


A Lunar Eclipse (photo credit: Abdallahh, February 2008)
Surely you’ve felt it - the rising tide of vibration… the subtle increase of intensity… the ratcheting up of life’s processes and the need to focus on who and what you’re supposed to be, do, aim for and want?

Why all that would be is rather simple: it’s lunar eclipse time.

October 18th will be the date – at least if you’re in the UT/+0 zone or anywhere west of there. Considering that the eclipse occurs at 11:39 p.m. in that zone (which seems a good sort of time for anything lunar…) it will already be the 19th in points east – true.

But the effect will be what it is, and that’s why we’re discussing it.

First of all, any lunar eclipse is a variation on what otherwise we would call a Full Moon. And what is a Full Moon? Astrologically, that’s when the Sun and Moon are exactly opposed to each other’s zodiacal positions – an even which happens once (at least once) every month.


We do get months now and then which include two Full Moons, and when that happens, the second such event is colloquially known as a “blue moon,” as in the expression: once in a blue moon.

Personally, as an astrologer, I’ll raise that ‘blue moon’ concept to eclipse status by pointing out that we have two (not 12) eclipse ‘seasons’ every year – and every once in a while one of those ‘seasons’ includes a pair of lunar eclipses.

So what would we call that 2nd Full Moon – a blue eclipse moon? A blue moon eclipse?

Whatever that may be, in this case this eclipse is occurring with the Moon at 25 Aries, we know the emotional core of this eclipse is all about tests of emotional realism. The ‘standard’ sort of lore on this degree speaks to a tendency for there to be such pride and arrogance that it’s really hard to stop and make ourselves really think through who we’re being and who we need to be.

So we may cling to some position or insist something is right just because…well, because it’s easier to ‘default’ to that position than anything else.

HOWEVER…(yes, there’s a ‘however’ in this mix!)…because the Moon is pictured as being conjunct Eris (aka Eris Discord) it’s likely that if we just knee jerk our emotional way through this time without really considering the parameters and (since the lunar eclipse is a Full Moon format) the ‘other side of the coin’ which in this case would be Libran – if we don’t think things through, we’re likely to experience Eris as Discord instead of Eris’ ‘higher power,’ which is the ability to get us to think outside our (Aires/Self) box and in doing so, grow, enhance and otherwise empower our life through recognizing that though things aren’t quite as simple as we thought them to be…well, better is better and the life is actually a whole lot richer and more enriching when we don’t deal with things in abstract, but in the reality of human life.

That said, the other side of this Full Moon format is Libra. And the whole of this Lunar Eclipse is being shown to us in a 3rd decanate, ‘it isn’t all about us’ sort of degree format. So between the 3rd decan thing and the interactive Libra quotient, this moment (or period) plainly isn’t just about us.

It’s about who we are and what we bring to life…or our life…or the lives of those around us – and how (aka how well) all that works.

The solar side of this metaphysical equation is poised at 25 Libra – a degree which tends to be inconsistent and manifest as being compromised until we learn how to live with that level of compromise which is truly part of life. Libra being an air sign, the ‘idea of the thing’ is paramount – and the ‘purist’ aspect of whatever ideas are now at hand are likely to be the highlighted issue.

25 Libra is also a degree about the quality of relationships. Here we are challenged to at least know the difference between surface relationships or those which are more shallow (or even one-sided) and those which are deeply important to our being, our understanding, our vital experience of life. Oddly enough, the ‘test’ of this seems to be all about how we react to flattery and what ‘sounds good’…or even what ‘looks good’ – which is probably particularly important in today’s media-driven, “lookist” culture. While physical beauty has always been prized, it has hardly ever played so much of a ‘ticket to success’ role as it has been playing of late – hence the old expression ‘don’t judge a book by its cover.’

Getting back to the Moon side of things, there is also to consider the idea that Aries is ruled by Mars.


In the image of this lunar eclipse, Mars is situated at 2 Virgo, a degree which is about analysis of a type which is the very antithesis (opposing factor) to the kind of headstrong energetic we are told the Moon at 25 Aries may well put in play.

So…are you meeting up with that energy now in the form of someone else or some situation? Or are you embodying it? Have you embodied it and are you thinking it over? Are you thinking of some decision which depends on some quality in this mélange – or something which perhaps you’re realizing is valuable simply because it doesn’t to ‘any of the above’?

Considering how astrology works, you could be running into all of the above. Or you could be involved with someone or some situation which is manifesting or demonstrating all of the above.

And then there’s Regulus.

Royal star Regulus promises success ONLY and IF we don’t embody one very important principle: revenge. That being true, whether this moment turns on something which shows…or very much avoids the concept of revenge (vengeance, spite, etc.) show be highly revelatory.

Certainly if we’re going to think through the ruler of Aries (which we just did) we should also think through the ruler of Libra, which is Venus.


Ruling the Sun’s side of this equation, Venus is at 12 Sagittarius, which being a 2nd decanate degree (a degree between 10 and 19 of any sign) emphasizes the emotional value of learning (learning something, learning about something, learning why something does or doesn’t work) … but which at the same time tests our ability to understand that we may be barking up a wrong tree or be needing to face that we’ve invested time, energy and though in some goal or some process which isn’t going to get us where we want to go.

Considering that 12 Sagittarius is a sensitive…yea verily passionate degree, there can be much frustration or much altruism involved in dynamics of the moment – particularly I/thou situations or relationships. Interestingly (seeing as this is Sagittarius we’re talking about) lore also says there’s a pronounced ‘health’ quotient to 12 Sagittarius which tends to focus on bodily health but which can also be an outgrowth of psychic or emotional or psychological factors.

Doesn’t sound exactly like a calm and unbiased moment so far…does it? I think not!

Even so let’s continue…


Now that we’ve looked at the points and the rulers of said points (and gotten a bit of a headache doing so), then come the aspects – the first and most obvious one being Neptune (at 2 Pisces and retrograde) being in perfected opposition with Mars.

(I’m not sure whether I should utter a heartfelt ‘oooh-ahhh’ or a ‘yikes!’ here.)

Neptune retrograde – under any and all circumstances, is the disillusion or dissolving of that which has either kept us from reality or the truth…or our ability to deal with same. Positioned in Pisces, we know the game which is afoot (Watson) is whether we are willing or even able to tolerate dealing with how we feel about our feelings – whether that’s present tense, past tense or cumulative.

In opposition to Mars/Regulus, the simple ‘read’ is that there’s no one to blame in particular and that we simply have to grapple with the facts. At the same time, it’s likely that this combination will spell some tendency to exhaust ourselves emotionally – or physically because we’re exhausted emotionally and cannot support the ‘weight of our functional necessities,’ to be all philosophical-sounding about it.

2 Pisces as a degree is a wavering sort of influence which waxes and wanes unpredictably and which is at its best when we are willing to do what needs doing as determined by us…which means everybody else should keep their mitts to themselves (physical, financial, psychological, emotional and otherwise) and that we should both require that AND require of ourselves that we take whatever separations and solitude we come up with as the moment in which to think for ourselves, decide for ourselves and to accept that whatever our choices are, they’re ours.

This very much echoes Neptune in Pisces in general, as Neptune in Pisces is all about raising the specter of ‘perfection’ in order that we can learn that it’s the thing we humans aspire towards while we’re living a true and human life. Learning that we are not alone in our fears, in our disappointments, in the recognizing that we’re mortal is essential – as is the sometimes hard-won lesson that good is good no matter what it looks like or whether it “fits the mold” you have somehow adopted as the ‘way things should be.’

Neptune is never in favor of that sort of emotional expectation. Its symbolism – by sign – is always about the area of life (in the case of Pisces, our experience of our feelings) where we will construct that ‘perfect life’ image and then realize that’s a dream and that reality – the reality of something which makes you happy or satisfied or comfortable with your life and Self…that whatever that ‘looks’ like (physically, socially, economically, etc.) is less important than the business of being who you are.

Being human…and a human being who understands being human, in other words.

One more piece to this puzzle...


Neptune trine the North Node at 7 Scorpio (a degree which is mystical, strong and unwavering) speaks to our need to understand the underlying process of our essence and who we really are instead of what others project as what we ‘should be.’ You may be a lot or a little of that ‘should’ thing, and where you subscribe to ‘should’s, understanding why you have done that and whether that is truly valid – whether it matches who you truly are – is truly important.

After all, 7 Scorpio is part of the complex which is involved in the solar eclipse soon to come. So it’s flux and shaking up of our lives and assumptions and assumed ‘bedrock’ constructs is in full progress.

Sometimes the lunar eclipse occurs before the solar eclipse. Sometimes it’s the other way around. When the lunar eclipse comes first, we would guess that we’re needing to be ‘shook up’ so that we will let go of whatever life is telling us is outmoded or no longer applicable or just plain not in keeping with who we are.

Lunar eclipses tend to show up right on schedule and fade out pretty quickly. If your natal chart has some important placement either between 20 Aries and 0 Taurus or 20 Libra and 0 Scorpio, you’re likely to feel this eclipse very much as an ‘experience’ which – though it may be ‘garbed’ in the form of someone else is really about you.

For those with placements between 20 Capricorn and 0 Aquarius or 20 Cancer and 0 Leo life is throwing something new into your mix or tossing you a curve ball. Think it through and work through the challenge and all will – in time – be more workable.

The time frame given for lunar eclipses is generally about three months – as opposed to three years for a solar eclipse. Though lunar eclipses often represent moments which feel like tidal waves, and while they may represent a ‘change of course’ in the doing-this-not-that sort of thing…they very seldom change your life, life standing or life force – that’s a solar eclipse thing. Yes, given this is an Aries lunar eclipse (which by definition faces off against a Libra Sun) others may well be involved in what goes on now. But – to choose an extreme sort of example here…lets say you decide to marry or not marry someone at this point. The issue is still whether that marriage or that person fits your life…and if they do (or don’t) why that is.

This lunar eclipse is about us, and about our experiencing how we feel about who we are and who we’re being in that world we call ‘my life.’

Whatever happens, it’s a reflection – but whether that’s of who we are or what we do or don’t want to be? That’s individual.

*****************************
P.S. If you understood the above theory-building process, you've
just learned how astrologers formulate interpretations.

In other words, yes, you too could be an astrologer.
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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

From an Astrologer's Notebook: Shut Downs National and Personal





The dome of the US Capitol at night in Washington DC
(photo credit: Florian Hirzinger, August 2010)

In case you didn't hear, the US government shut down. The last time this happened was back in the Clinton Era, and America survived that...so it's likely the country (and the world) will survive this.

The astrological question however, is why did this happen at this particular time?

For that, we look to the national chart - of which, when it comes to the US of A, there are many. Which is which and why which is used by whoever is a whole debate which goes on (rather endlessly) in the astrological community. Suffice it to say, however, the chart that this astrologer uses is that which is erected for the signing of a peace treaty by General Robert E. Lee in the tiny town (if you could have properly called it a town in those days) of Appomattox Courthouse, Virginia.

In other words, Chart USA - which is the only chart I know of which works by transit and return and whatever else, come what may - is the chart of the reunification of the United States at the end of the Civil War.

The keyword there is "reunification," a term which implies - accurately - that the country had broken apart. About the time that the Confederacy had written its own constitution, set up its own government and started printing its own money (it does always come down to money when you're talking nations, doesn't it?)...that 'terminated' the original 1776 compact...union...whatever you want to call it.

If you want to read more chapters and more verses on this, go to the blog sidebar and look under the list of national and political posts for 'Chart USA' posts. There's a bunch of them.

So this is Chart USA - the Appomattox Surrender Chart:


Chart USA (Appomattox Surender)
April 9, 1865 - 3:53 p.m. (LMT/+5:15) - Appomattox VA

Without belaboring the fact that this economics snafu has been long in the making, what we would be seeing during the course of this political season is a really sterling (ugh) example of the national Pluto conjunct Mercury in an Aries 8th house with both planets posited in Taurus.

Mercury is at 9 Taurus and Pluto is at 12 Taurus, both in premier position to be smacked by opposition by the November Solar Eclipse at 11 Scorpio.

That 11 Scorpio eclipse is in the nation's 2nd house - the house of security and 'our resources' (which would include money) but the effects are rather wide ranging. For one, the sign on the 2nd house where the eclipse is actually hitting is Libra. And Libra is ruled by Venus. The Venus of this chart is at 24 Taurus and the 9th house, a condition which tells us that this fight...and its repercussions do have widespread effects and that some of them will not be localized. In a national chart, any 3rd decanate placement (which is to say, anything positioned in the last ten degrees of any sign) is going to apply to 'them as well.' "They" will have input and opinions of what "we" or "I" do - in this case the 'we/I' thing being America.

In other words, with this Venusian 'ruling effect' coming from the 9th house, from education and media (both 9th house things) and in the international quadrant (the 9th being the house of all things 'foreign') the USA's actions are going to engender reactions in all those 9th house areas (media, foreign whatevers, etc.).

More close up, one would suppose is the fact that by being at 11 Scorpio, the eclipse is hitting both asteroid Industria (at 7 Scorpio) and the national 3rd house cusp - which rather brings up the whole 'what are they thinking?' reaction which has been heard from coast to coast (and abroad, as far as that goes).

Industria, in this notion, can be the effect on the nation's economy - and by Venusian implication - the international economy (which is to say, economies around the world). Being that solar eclipses have a 3-year 'evolution,' this is not any quick fix or quick dip in the economic shark tank, either.

Scorpio on the 3rd house tends to be insistent. Stubborn. The instinct is to try to get your own way, and why that would be - the plus and minus there - would be told through the rulers of Scorpio: Mars and Pluto. Mars is the 'choice' of what to do, not do, get involved with, deny, invest in or be 'operated' by when it comes to the pure Scorpio dynamic.

And in this chart, Mars is in Cancer (ouch) and the 10th house of government and world affairs. Mars in Cancer is Mars in a position to be insistent, sometimes to its own detriment. The Mars/Cancer effect generally stems from some sort of fear, and with Cancer being ruled by the Moon we look to the chart's Moon (which is in Libra, conjunct Black Moon Lilith and involving Black Hole M87)...and plainly that points to constituencies, political pressures and (Lilith) back room deals and other such things.

Meanwhile (back at the national ranch), the Pluto of this chart is sitting with Mercury in Taurus in a Mars ruled 8th house. What this rather tells us - because of the Mars ruling the effects/affects of this house - is that the US is perfectly willing to be badly behaved and even willing to discredit itself in the name of its (Venus in the rhetorical and theoretical 9th ruling the 2nd house of security and satisfaction with one's self) desire to do what it believes in...otherwise known as 'serving one's own purpose.'

So...what should we expect? We should expect a lot of 'pragmatism be damned!' and getting away with whatever can be gotten away from on the part of the nation as a nation - and specifically on the part of those who are in charge of doing the governing. The US of A is a nation which is willing to go out on any limb for what it believes in...and only once the (Plutonic) effects and outcomes hit does the nation respond. 

Call it 'clean up' mode. There are nations, just as there are people, who will just follow that theory right off a fifty story building only to do the 'uh-oh' thing as they plummet towards ground.

It's a trait.

Fortunately for Americans, the Pluto/Mercury in Taurus - once energized by a crisis, does well. But prior to that...? Uh, not so much. With Photographica ("the image") and Sabine ("being held captive by") conjunct Pluto and Mercury, we get the notion that until there IS some sort of crisis, the US will hold onto its theories and debate itself into a pickle barrel.

Perhaps also worth noting is the 2013 return on this chart...

Chart USA - Solar Return 2013
April 9, 2013  - 1:28 p.m. (EDT/+4) - Appomattox, VA

And oh...lookie there...! The 8th house natal is the 10th house solar, putting the issue of debt and finance right out there for all the world to see. Moreover, with the Midheaven (aka MC) at 23 Aries, Venus is exactly conjunct. So all that stuff we said about the 2nd house and Venus in the natal 9th and Industria will be affected - put that in BIG AND BOLD.

Incidentally, Industria doesn't only mean that government workers will be involved OR that the people working for (or as) the government will be the ones to set off the solar eclipse (or embody it, depending on how you think). No, this is also about 'work force' dynamics. And that natal Industria is very much in opposition to natal Mercury in Chart USA may give us the real clue about why and when this current shut down and the debt ceiling conversation soon to follow will get resolved.

Oh, there's nothing like debt to stir up an 8th house! And here it is, poised on the 10th house of governance. Issue...meet issue makers!

Et voila...the rationale for the problem.

But wait....! That's not all. Statistically speaking, the degrees which sit just before any angle are very powerful. So that puts Eris at 22 Aries, Mars at 21 Aries and the chart's Sun at 20 Aries right there to spoil for the honor of being most in the spotlight and most prone to thinking 'in the moment.'

The Sun in this solar return rules the Leo Ascendant. And with Circe sitting just behind that Ascendant, the (Leo) idea of the thing is spellbinding enough to reduce intelligence to mental myopia. That Circe is positioned at 2 Leo in the solar chart says it will "pick up" on natal Kleopatra at 4 Leo in the natal chart (with, for that matter, natal Kleopatra right under the solar Ascendant). Kleopatra was a very, very smart woman. But in the end, her cleverness drove her to a situation which somewhat bent to this purpose would refer to being a 'poisonous pain in the asp.'

(Yes, you can quote me.)

The closest planet/dwarf planet in this chart - which is to say the highest planet/dwarf planet in this return chart is Eris. And that tells us that disruption and discord will reign until such time as someone in government decides to make the (Midheaven) world a better place instead of just trying to prove their (Aries) point or have their (Aries) way.

Oh, and let's not forget that Pluto in 6. In a national chart, the 6th house is the house of its 'employee's and those who do the nation's business. So Pluto in that house, in an inconjunct to an intercepted Gemini Jupiter in the 11th house of income, social/societal thinking and social systems is a pretty darn good image of Congress not giving a graham cracker whether they screw up national functionality as well as their ability to not care whether they injure the income of a whole lot of people.

Put simply, Gemini is the sign of communication and thought. To have Gemini intercepted in the 11th in that inconjunct to Pluto is a perfect image of Congress just not 'hearing' what people are saying not just about them, but about what they're doing.

And let us not forget - Pluto is the 'outcome' ruler of Scorpio, as in "Scorpio solar eclipse." This Pluto in 6 with its attendant inconjunct is thus a perfect image of consequences and repercussions. 

The bottom line here is that this solar eclipse - like all solar eclipses - brings enormous focus to given subjects, wherever they may fall in our chart. (Or charts, should you want to also use your solar return and/or any applicable lunar return...and so on). Especially with a sign like Scorpio involved, we will tend to want to cling to some position or some sense of 'safety' or some notion even if we do so at some peril.

Solar eclipses are famous...yea verily infamous...for bringing out what really is funky and unworkable. In Scorpio, that 'thing' tends to be something we don't want others to know.

Heck, we don't even want to know such things about our Self.

We think (or know) they won't like us if we're honest... and that we'll have emotional hell to pay if we're honest with ourselves. It's all just a reflection of our shame or our fears or our insecurities with self - all of which are engendered when we refuse to grow, change, evolve and deal with our (Scorpio) emotions and the emotionality of life coolly, realistically and factually. With Scorpio, there is some tendency to glom onto ideals and forget the realities - the human cost, to ourselves and to others - for our trying to be 'perfect.'

Human perfection isn't theory. Human perfection is the process of being perfectly human, folks.

If we take our clue from the media (of which there is plenty of these days) it would seem to be that the 'Rule of Scorpio' which is to say, owning the truth calmly and factually and choosing to share that truth calmly and out of choice is the best way forward. Yes, there may be a moment of shock or dismay. But...

Washington Monument (photo credit: Snty-tact, July 2006)

....well, I'll just toss in here something from my own very human past. I used to be a gym rat. Health has kind of driven me away from that, though I still love grappling with weights and 'heavy feedback' (of all kinds, apparently!) Anyway...at once point I was invited by a friend of the day to work out at the very famous Gold's Gym in Venice Beach, California. And there, among the body buffniks and pro athletes, I soon found myself being cheered on by a bunch of pro wrestlers.

If you've ever seen pro wrestling, you know what I'm taking about - a bunch of guys who, if they know the word 'shy' certainly don't subscribe to it.

So there was very imperfect me, all gung ho but not anywhere near as fit as these guys, tackling the pig iron and going through my workout with these wrestlers standing around me urging me on with cries of  "JUST ONE MORE!!...GO FOR IT!!...YOU CAN DO IT!!"...and the like.

I finally asked one of them why they were being so supportive of someone who was plainly not in their class.

Their answer: "because you're here, and you're trying."

That's what Scorpio asks us to do. Scorpio asks us to try to be the better, braver - hopefully calmer and more 'think it through' person. Scorpio asks us to choose our friends, our associates and our efforts wisely, to recognize who we can trust, who we'd be a fool to trust, and to not get towed off track by what we don't know so that common sense - and human values (including the value of humans) - doesn't go out the window and thereafter return to haunt us, taunt us, and over time, undermine us.

Scorpio tempts us to think in response terms. Or reward terms. The temptation is to think in terms of power instead of self-respect. Scorpio will tempt us to deceive and not be honest about who we are and who we have been - most often to our own detriment.

Where we are blindly over OR under invested (in any sense) a Scorpio solar eclipse will explode those boundaries and barriers - particularly as it hits our Scorpio placements (should we have any). We will be asked and then forced to learn that we need to be trying, even when that's a very trying experience. The 'why?' here is obvious: life seeks to show us that we cannot live a depleted existence or a compartmentalized existence, that we are contiguous with ourselves and others.

You know...because of the E=mc2'd of it all.

And yes, sometimes we have to let go in order to hold on. The question is why and how we go about doing that. Scorpio is an intimate sign, so the public stuff, the outer stuff - and thus the money and prestige stuff - that's what tends to get in our way on the path to being the actual person we want to be.

So...

In that light (and on that note), the second half of this post is a form of personal "shut down" notice. No, I'm not stopping the blog - don't fret! This is more 'personally personal' than that.

As much as Scorpio is the sign of economics and debt and power struggles and intimacy and emotional conflicts big and small (from relationship trials to wars), there is also a very physical side to Scorpio which goes way beyond sex. Think through this list of Scorpio keywords: rehabilitation, detoxification, reconstruction, reclamation, purification, elimination.

For my solar eclipse, I'm up to a whole list of things. But then that's fitting, as this eclipse will conjunct my Scorpio Saturn/Moon while trining my Pisces Venus and Mercury. In short, a whole lot of chart factors, a whole lot doing in my life.

The Saturn part of this talks about what I'm doing to grow in an obvious and external manner quite consistent with Saturn being in the upper (public) half of my chart. It's also in the "thou" 7th house, which (all puns intended) 'speaks' to who I am with others and what I put out to others...and in this blog or any other work product or effort I make.

So it's apt that I'm in the middle of setting up publication of a four-volume epic fantasy. (Think "Lord of the Rings" if it had been written in a modern time with modern characters dealing with modern problems in a modern voice). This represents plural decades of work coming to fruition (which in Saturn representing duration and dedication seems apt). Plus I went into the production process to get these books into print just as I finished my year-long Saturn return.

All very fitting - and you can look for a release in the next few months. (I'll post an announcement here, on Facebook and LinkedIn when it happens.)

But there's another thing on my plate as well - on the 'who am I (the person) that I am putting out there? side of the coin. This concerns a medical process which in metaphysical terms is my 'eclipsing' a medical status in the purely Scorpio sense.

I want to be a better, less toxic me...which involves doing a detox. As noted above, any sort of 'detoxifying' is Scorpionic whether you're getting off some drug or refusing to go into some environment (like a home or some office) you find toxic.

Scorpio - as a process - is often about 'cleaning out' our life, our fears and any basis of relating or operating which is toxic, be that physical, emotional, sexual, financial, spiritual or otherwise. It can involve dealing with toxic waste, doing psychological work or utilizing any other form or format which activates the Scorpio 'reclamation,' 'tear down/build back' theme.

(Come to think of it, every part of that list applies to Congress...)

"Addiction" per se is astrologically thought of as Neptunian and Piscean. And yes, I am a Sun sign Pisces, which would tend to say my physical being is more prone to addiction than some - and you have no idea of the arguments I've gone through with MDs who have handed me plainly addictive prescriptions which I have then handed back saying things like 'I'm not in favor of addiction - are you?'...or the even more blatant 'Thanks, but I'm trying not to follow in Heath Ledger's footsteps.' 

That aside, when we talk about Pisces/Neptune addiction, we're generally talking about an addiction which grows out of some urge to escape, whether that's from life or physical or emotional pain.

At least that's where it starts. And it doesn't have to involve drugs. Wherever Pisces falls in your chart, that's the area of life which points to what you will tend to try to escape from, escape to or use as your medium of escape. (And sometimes all of the above are the very same thing.) I have a friend with Pisces on the 4th house who treats their home (and their office within the office complex) as their sanctuary and refuge. We all do that to some extent, but this person does it with such obvious 'flight' tendencies that the area around their (closed) office door vibrates like some energetic Hazmat zone.

In adult life they are flee the inability to tolerate feeling they were brought up as a child to avoid. And yes, childhood (as the experience of family) is also 4th house.

Pisces is a sign about our experiencing of our own  emotionality, emotional connections and the commonalty of human emotional experience, corporeal and otherwise. We often try to control our Pisces experience through escape when the answer is more about accepting how messy and imperfect - and yes, sometimes painful life really is.

We want the ideal. We want the dream. In Scorpio, we try to avoid invalidating the person inside ourselves who needs and wants that dream in order to feel better about life in general and in Pisces we try to escape feeling anything which hurts...which is why we manufacture that dream 'nirvana' in the first place.

Apply that to me and we get to a fact you already know if you've been around the blog long enough - namely that my sketchy (read: violent) early history has endowed me with all the anxieties and non-joys known as PTSD.

About seven years ago an enterprising MD put me on the medication I now need to stop. It was for PTSD and I didn't really fight it. I should have. But sometimes we have to learn the hard way. And that 'hard way' began for me when about three years ago I found out how unless you're fatally ill, you probably shouldn't take this medication but for a rather short amount of time.

NOW you tell me? Oh, great...

 Just in case you're into pharmaceuticals, no, this isn't
a photograph from any personal source!

I've tried all the common ways of trying to get weaned off this medication - all with stunningly bad results.And no, for the sake of the curious, I haven't abused my prescription.

Taking this all into metaphysics-speak we get yet another freaky example of Scorpio energetics and the 'use the energy wisely, lest it use you unwisely' lesson. I'm a Sun sign Pisces with a Scorpio Moon: I didn't abuse the drug but the drug has abused me.

So I get to do a detox...which may go just fine, but which (let's be real...!) may also not be a picnic in the park.

Full disclosure here...it probably hasn't been a picnic for people who know me in real time of late either.

Why? Well, for the last month or two I've been walking the edge of withdrawal. It's because of duration on the drug. Our bodies (which are amazing machines) learn to acclimate. So as you take many drugs, they do less and less...resulting in doctors amping up the amount of drug you take.

True to form however, given my stubborn little self, I simply refused to - as they say - "titer up." In part it's because I'd have to double the dose to change it at all (which sounds to me like a stunningly bad idea)...and since I've known this detox thing was coming, I've clung to my (maintenance) dose, even though of late I've been getting twinges of all those (very not cute) withdrawal symptoms which, as with most withdrawals had a way of turning me into one very anxious squirrel at emotionally provocative moments.

People in withdrawal just tend to be edgy and PTSD people in withdrawal tend to be very fight-and-flight prone. 

Yes, most people do 'fight or flight'...PTSD people tend to do fight and flight.

It's very decorative. (Not!)

Since I'm the child-abuse PTSD person and not the military grade PTSD person, the good news is that I don't shoot guns. But yes, I am a writer (surely you've noticed, right?) So I do tend to shoot my mouth off - most often when the mere idea of something scary scares me into trying to ward the scary thing off...Which usually makes it happen, yes.

Ah, life is so self fulfilling!

And once I manage to elicit exactly the thing I dread, I do what child abuse victims do - I go right to being childlike. (I'm guessing those on the receiving end call it childish.) In other words, I cry.

In fact, I have a PhD in weepery. (That's a joke, yes. But also not so much of a joke - also yes.)

I know...you're sitting there reading this and trying to envision your shiny-brained astrologer acting like a child. It happens, trust me. And people in real time have no better time with it than you're having imagining it - though I do have a few friends who know that no matter what happens, scared kids need hugs and reassurance and security.

So like everybody else who has been scared early and thoroughly, I freak out, I cry some (sometimes a lot) and then I...well...I guess you could say I 'sober up' and return to being the shiny-brained astrologer and generally glib girl most people think of me as.

Confession over. And now that you know much PTSD stuff you probably never thought you'd read on an astrological blog (though to be honest, having been abused is part of what led me to learning astrology)...on to the practical: for reasons classed as 'all of the above' I may be taking a couple of weeks away from the blog. As of today I will be setting it to 'automatic,' so you can still post comments. That way, if I do step away, a friend will step in to play monitor and delete anything off-color or off-track even if I won't be answering until I come back online, which at first guess will be...oh, after the first week of November.

In other words, until after the solar eclipse - at which time I'll catch up with comments, love notes and 'atta girls' left in the interim.

Whether or not I take time off, the process is akin to shutting down in order to clean up. I'm pulling back on the Scorpio interactivity side of things in order to reclaim and rebuild inside so as to be a better person to you...and myself as well.

Since I haven't jumped into the detox pool (it looks muddy) yet, I'm not sure how deep the water is going to be. Maybe all will be fine. But in any case, not to worry - posts will be pre-loaded to let you know what's going on. Therefore the worst case scenario is this: though you may miss my saucy Piscean presence, you'll remain informed on metaphysical doings.

I trust you understand.

 The glyph for Pisces

I also want to say that I'm telling you all of this not because I have some need to go public (I so don't follow that habit) but because I thought it would be a whole difference kind of good example of how solar eclipses - in particular a Scorpio solar eclipse - can work.

Positive things can come of whatever this eclipse brings, but the process of working through the whole of the eclipse's lesson can be difficult, challenging, trying, scary and ugly.

And let's not forget...eclipses have stages. First comes the 'pre-eclipse' break down of various things in our life. GIven that this eclipse is in Scorpio, the effect may appear to be external, but the real issue is internal.

Life is trying to get us all to learn something vital...and the closer this eclipse is to hitting anything in your chart squarely, the more basic or bigger the lesson is. As we often see with celebrities, politicians and such, eclipses frequently "out" us - or what we've been doing or hiding.

Particularly from ourselves.

Once the date of the actual eclipse passes, then we move into a 'coping' phase where we deal with whatever has happened and continue processing in present tense (i.e., what I need to do on a daily basis) as we (hopefully) also do a little contemplation of what this event - whatever it may be - is trying to 'tell' us in terms of who we really are, or should be.

Somewhere down the line...call it between two and two and a half years from now, those of us who have had a solid 'hit' from the eclipse (that would be me raising my hand, yes) will come across something or some situation or some person we would never have appreciated or 'known' was important had we not been through this time. 

But yes, eclipses can be a giant headache - literally and otherwise.

With that said, back to the book. As happy as I am about finally getting this book into print, there's also an aspect of wistfulness about it. My cousin likened this feeling to having children grow up and leave home. With the 'missing' of having something all to yourself is the understanding that an 'era' of your existence has come to its end.

And a new one begins, which brings us to the idea of how scary change can really be. It's no less scary to think of thinking of life in a new way at the governmental level than it is on an individual level. It's scary to think that the family you grew up with taught you things which now as an adult are crippling your life.

But at some point, we have to change. So just as I understand how many simply refuse to allow me to be anything but a titanium-minded computer who does astro-analysis at the drop of a diode (apparently I'm a clone of Commander Data) I also understand how hard it is for politicians to do what's right instead of what's popular.

I have seen wholesale bizarreness happen over the past few weeks and I bet you have too. My least favorite was the person who told me something was "illegal" when it plainly wasn't. They should never try such lines on someone prone to looking things up. (I'm a born research geek.)

By it happens. The Pisces in me wants to think they 'just don't know the truth' while my Scorpio Moon side suspects they're copping out. (Read: manipulate the situation, and 'manipulation' is a Scorpio word.)Or worse yet, that they've been lied to by someone trying to control them. (Control: another Scorpio word.)

Ah yes...so many questions, so little true and truly trusting and intimate communication of the Scorpio kind - the kind which challenges us to risk so we can grow. So many of us are so afraid of losing that we give up the chance to win.

Isn't that so often the way of humankind?

The glyph for Scorpio
 
But I understand why all of this is at stake and taking place. I understand the parameters of the Scorpio eclipse coming upon us, and the fact that it's going to affect each and every one of us in our own very special and equally trying way. (With that going double, yes, for anyone with planets, dwarf planets, nodes or axis points in Scorpio.) I comprehend our fears. I sympathize with our universal desire for comfort and security, however we define that for ourselves. 

Being human is seriously difficult. But what's our choice?

The old Zen master's saying...walk on...seems to apply here. And I hope that those who object to my vulnerabilities will, in spite of their preferences, choose to walk the road through life with me anyway.

And if they don't...for those who must walk their own paths for their own reasons, I wish them well and hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me my very human and physical mortal failings even if they choose to follow a different...and probably equally challenging path.

We are in a time of shifting mortal energetics. And if I've learned anything as an astrologer it's that where Scorpio is concerned, hiding is a toxicity which corrodes, especially when we do it to evade our own fear.

Scorpio fears are about as toxic as toxic gets on the metaphysical level. And the power of that toxicity is in the fear, the secret, the denial and the unwillingness to believe you can live through whatever happens even if others don't like who you are or what you've done.

What's your choice - to live a lie? To deny that which would allow you to experience the greatest depths of your human self?

That's Scorpio at its most ineffectual.

I've compared Scorpio to ice (i.e., fixed water - which is what Scorpio is astrologically) many a time. To lie is thin ice. To own one's mortality and humanity and willingness to try in spite of our flaws... that's the ice which though perhaps not all slick and shiny is solid enough to walk on.

So there are a few comments on the eclipse and the US government...and my process of eclipsing that which I have been. Eclipses tend to bring out the worst like some overflowing sewer...and the worst of it seems to be looking at ourselves.

Whatever it takes for life to get us to let go, life will hand us. If we refuse to let go now, in 19 years (one Metonic or eclipse cycle) we will encounter the same process but at higher magnitude (as they say here in earthquake country) and with more devastating effects.

At some level the question is not can you hold on...but why would you want to?

And that's where the 'fixation' of Scorpio's gives way to transformation. Scorpio often manifests as wanting to be right when the better solution is getting it right - and 'right' is not what it looks like, but an intrinsic quality of unique individuality we each must find on our own.
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