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Monday, October 21, 2013

Sun in Scorpio: The Edict Human


  A solar prominance as photographed by NASA (September 2006)

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I make no bones about it: the following post is written in an entirely
subjective voice. My feelings are passionate, obvious and one-sided,
which is the gist of where we all start with Scorpio, a sign which stirs us
internally and which challenges us to then merge and marry that to the
world around us through the people and opportunities we encounter.
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Whether we are able to be honest with ourselves is where we start.
Then Scorpio evolves, becoming a journey through finding out
how honest we are willing to be with others - and how honestly
we will deal with them and grow ourselves to our full emotional potential.
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Wherever Scorpio is in your chart (by house cusp) symbolizes the
manner in which  you will experience Scorpio. That house describes both
the positive and negative tools you will tend to utilize in the various forms
of interaction Scorpio asks that we master and the area of life in which
you will either grow...or where you will experience your greatest
defeats - defeats which amount to self-incarceration through
succumbing to those weaknesses you refuse to face.

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A few weeks ago now, I had come to a breaking point with my own ability to deny an emotional truth. That truth had to do with my own feelings, the emotional intensity of a relationship which was a faceted ball of glittering silence, the deeply buried emotionality of the other person…and why it all wasn’t working.

Like Scorpionic magma, words forced their way up through a throat which was helpless to be constrained as his isolation translated into my torture, as so often is the undermining mechanism which manifests through Scorpio fusions. The layers of emotions melted and refrozen which had become our shroud of lies would have been our Scorpio wealth had we not converted them into a toxic source of excuses.

We had borrowed from our souls, creating an unpayable emotional debt which in the beautiful if cruel realm of Scorpio meant that instead of working on mutual compromises we were instead pitting our ideals (social, societal or otherwise) against the reality of life including the messy realities so very much a part of what life is.

And thus, instead of facing our own fears in each other's presence, allowing the understanding of ideas and ideals to bring to flower something beautiful and intimately reconciled by our very human imperfections...

…instead we ended up compromising ourselves.

Instead of conceiving our Scorpio rebirth to mutuality, we each choose our conceptualized death of Self.

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I have a Scorpio Moon, so I know from what I speak. Anyone with any significant placement in Scorpio (and you know who you are) understands how the Scorpio process will always tempt us to deny the reality of the necessity to be human.

Our temptation to run away. That will always tempt us just as surely as the ease with which - in our Scorpio fears - we can be flagrantly diverted into falling prey to someone else’s manipulated truth – a truth they generally preach while we stand there starkly afraid of...and for our naked, human, life.

And where courage can't sustain us, our fears will drive us mad.

Scorpio tempts us to be the person who preaches but does not practice, much as Scorpio tempts us to practice what is preached even though that will deny us the full experience of being human.

Sometimes I think such ‘rules’ are made up just because someone was so sorely afflicted by their own fears that they couldn’t cope. So they come up with a ‘rule’ and hope that by stamping ‘that’ out, they won’t have to think about it any more.

That isn’t to say Scorpio doesn’t support rules. Well, not rules per se, but boundaries. Rules are theoretical – and thus the providence of air signs.  “Boundaries” is an earth term, and that’s still not Scorpio, though because Scorpio is water in its ‘fixed’ mode, we do think of it astrologically as ice – and who hasn’t experienced iciness as someone’s emotional expression of their absolute solid boundary?

One of the Crystal Ice Caves in California's Lava Beds National Monument
(photo credit: National Park Service)
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(If you haven’t, please take one halo from petty cash and thank your lucky stars.)

But when it comes to dealing with the ‘you can’t, because’ power of rules, with Scorpio this becomes a duality sort of thing – which is fitting, as Scorpio is one of three zodiac signs with dual rulers.

Note to anyone human reading this: two of those three signs are water signs. That’s probably a good clue as to how hard our emotional lives are…and on a metaphysical level, how hard they’re supposed to be.

And here so many of us think feeling should just be easy. Uh, no. Apparently not.

But back to the Scorpio duality…the operational imperatives of Scorpio in the world of ‘you can’t, because’ has the choice part of the equation (to do or not to do) which astrology sees as set off by Martian motion…and the response-reaction-implication OF the choice, that thing which comes of choosing to – or choosing not to (or which you choose) which none of us can known going in.

That would be the Pluto part.

The thing about Scorpio situations which we see pictured there is that they are and aren’t all about us. We do get choices. We can choose to opt in or opt out…and we can choose what we opt into or opt out of.

Many is the time I have said that Scorpio is all about the testing of our self worth, our security, our satisfaction with our lives and our self respect. And here’s where that comes in. Those who choose productively, grow in security and life power. Those who don’t – those who ‘play it safe’ are using some of that Scorpio energy to build a wall.

The problem with those walls is that by definition, they are limiting. And if you know anything about the power of ice…or in Scorpio’s alternative natural guise – a swamp – you know you are dealing with the power of glaciers and massive icebergs or the power of quicksand to pull you in and bury you in immobility.

In Scorpio – the boundaries you mind or don’t mind are emotional. They may be voiced as ideas (to you or by you), but we interpret them as emotional “edicts” and we respond to them – and thus decide whether to follow or not follow (aka comply or not comply) with them based on where we stand with our own emotionality.

That basis of judgment is the Taurean polarity for Scorpio – the ‘individual “learned” basis’ upon which we formulate our opinion of self, from which we derive self worth or insecurities galore. And when that gets ‘activated’ in a Scorpio situation, the ‘interactive’ quality of Scorpio forces us back on that personal basis of judgment – our inner Taurean security…and thus all Scorpio decisions and feelings about our decisions rely on our self worth and inner security…which once tapped and activated, reacts.

ENTER THE SCORPIO QUANDARY…our purpose for following or not following the ‘rule’ is also emotional – it’s all about the solidity of our convictions, with convictions being the stuff of which Scorpio determination and decision making is made.

Again, this is a two-part system. Part One is known as “how well do you know yourself?” and Part Two is “how realistic are you about what you need in order to thrive and grow as a healthy human being?”

This is where – especially in our modern, interconnected society – most of us seem to get our mental knickers in a twist (which is a really evocative mental image, if nothing else). There is so much pressure to adhere and accede to societal images and “judgments” about what matters to us that we often neglect our real Self in the process of, or effort to comply with some ‘you should want this’ or ‘you should operate in this manner’ which may not be consistent with not just our needs, but the very situation.

That brings up the Scorpio requirement to know ourselves, and to know when we can support the idea but not participate in it for ourselves. Or when we need to stop and examine the situation as so often situations look one way, but in reality are another thing altogether. If we simply look at the 'edict' ('edict' being a truly Scorpio word) we realize that as situations, relationships, interactions evolve…they may or may not be within the original scope of the most important edict of all in this lift: the one which says we need to be who we are, for that is the person we bring - and need to bring - to any situation, effort or relationship.

What Scorpio brings to bear here is the energetic which seeks to lure us with the allure to want to follow not because it's 'right,' but because it’s easier to negate, sell out and sublimate ourselves...even if that means we’re back at that Scorpio denial thing.

But being a martyr is good, you say? Well...usually not in ScorpioLand. The idea of being ‘the martyr for the cause’ is either a Sagittarian (to stand as a lightning rod for the idea) or Piscean (to embody and lead mass emotionality) thing.

Which really means that true martyrdom is done in the cause of ‘many,’ not Self. And Scorpio is not truly pluralistic. That’s the providence of the last four signs of the zodiac (Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces), not the second four signs (Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio).

In constellation Sagittarius, the star nursery of M17 reveals new stars
(photo credit: ESO)

The quadruplicities (groups of four zodiac signs) are all about just that – groupings. The first four (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer) are singular/individual, the second four (Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio) are me-and-thee or small 'group units' and that sort of thing. But ‘mass movements’ are the purview of the last quadruplicity: Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
 
So if you’re thinking of martyring yourself under some Scorpio banner…while I’m tempted to make a Dante-esque joke of ‘it should be labeled Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here’ type (yes, I’m a fan of Dante’s very not funny ‘Divine Comedy’ – didn’t you know?) the truth is that the the only witness to your martyrdom in the Scorpio sense is generally the same person who will pay the price of it: you.

In other words, this is an influence which often causes us to sacrificing our self respect and the value we could have placed in our individuality by martyring ourselves to some cause which is either entirely temporal or doesn’t give squat about you.

Ideas usually don’t give a squat, after all. Ideas and ideals aren’t human and aren’t feeling. They’re a theoretical standard which human beings have shown to have tens of millions of exceptions, as in "the exception which makes the rule."

And now that I’ve had my chance to do the Dance of the Diatribe all over the Scorpio premise, this applies…why? 

And…to what?

Answer: to the Sun entering Scorpio on October 23rd at 6:11 in the morning, UT/+0 time.

By now, everyone who is the least bit into astrology has heard about the impending Scorpio solar eclipse. You probably felt the onset of its ‘breaking down of your situational walls’ back in early September – there’s a two-month lead-in to solar eclipses and frankly, this one has been particularly trying.

Yes, even painful.

As Venus passed through Scorpio (September 11 – October 7) our hearts were tried and tied and rent by things and situations which apparently we had washed and which now we couldn’t to a darn thing with.

Or about.

This was doubled up on – or even trebled as Mercury entered Scorpio on September 29th, a moment which is now emblazoned on my brain since in the next 48 hours I not only had of the worst headaches of my life, but got reports from at least a dozen other people about headaches and stomach aches in their lives.

In part, Scorpio refers to our ability to handle toxicity and to purge ourselves of that which is toxic. Scorpio asks that we ‘reclaim’ our lost Self (the respect and worth part) – which often…in very much a Scorpio manner… dictates that we will lose before we reclaim. So there was a lot of loss, a lot of reactions to loss, a lot of pain and anguish about what was (and maybe still is) missing in our lives…and all of it took place in this cauldron of Scorpio mentality which, according to Mercury’s schedule, is going to be with us until December.

Yes, December. And my headache, heartache and general life toxicity is so not glad to hear this.

Once Venus moved on into Sagittarius, some of us have moved into a ‘reconsidering’ mode, asking ourselves how we can make our life work better. What will it take? Have we misjudged? Did some idea get in the way of greater truths?

The Sun is the emblem of life and enlightenment; as it enters Scorpio on October 23rd our mental waters will become stiller…and yet deeper. With Mercury having gone retrograde (in Scorpio) on the 21st, this opens the door for a whole new level of intense reflection on what life is, and is for.

It will be a very personal and powerful time. During the near-month of Sun in Scorpio we are all likely to ‘break through’ to some new area of realization, some new recognition of what life is, and isn’t. We will let go of old assumptions and like children emerging from some mythic chrysalis, begin exploring our potentials, our power and our willingness to be who we are on a whole new level and in a whole new way.

I still hold some hope that this evolutionary passage will open a path for my friend and I to reconnect. Our differences are entirely about their desire to adhere to an externalized ethic which in truth we had – in simply knowing each other – eclipsed as people.

Eclipsing happens.

But sometimes the process is hard. And sometimes it takes longer for one person to work through their eclipse work than another.

Learning that what we do doesn’t define us is a primary recognition we all learn at some point. I learned that a long time ago when as a newbee astrologer I did all the busy little calculations to figure out when my Saturn Return was going to be. (Back then we didn’t have computers and astrology programs – it was all paper-and-pencil math.)

My Saturn is in Scorpio, you see…and within twenty minutes of the calculated time, I got hired to write my first “official” motion picture screenplay.

Saturn shown in a false color image as photographed by Voyager 1
(photo credit: NASA-JPL)
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Saturn: emblem of time and earning and career…I had finally hit the big time.

Or so I thought.

As I stood there on the driveway of the producer’s house marveling at what felt to me in that moment like some anointment from on high…it suddenly dawned on me: getting the job was just the start of the work.

So no, the angels didn’t sing. Apparently they were booked for some other gig somewhere else.

Now as my second Saturn return has just completed (and yes, I congratulated myself on getting this far) the real writing which is not about ‘the job of writing’ but about bringing the story I’ve wanted to tell for the whole of my life to life in text.

It's now been shipped off to the press.

Publishing the book (a four-part epic fantasy) is the Saturn work of it. Having invested my time, the intensity of my spirit and my effort to believe I know how to tell this story...that I care enough about it as spend so long crafting a real life very un-fairy tale fantasy embodying all I believe and care about as a human living among other human beings…that’s the Scorpio part.

That being said, it strikes me as ironic (irony is a favorite Scorpio emotion) that in the midst of coming to loggerheads with this person, as I felt the world cracking away around me, I heard them make a reference to the book – as if its publication would compensate me for losing their companionship, their presence, the knowing they were part of my life.

About then, I knew they needed the space, the solitude, even the iciness of Scorpio isolation in which to consciously feel themselves realizing and coalescing their feeling human nature, and why our life as human beings is more important…and worth more…than any theoretical rule.

That’s the real Scorpio edict: we matter. Simply as very human human beings, we matter. And when we matter to each other, that matters more than just about anything else.

To my friend…who may at some point in time read this post…blessed be. Though we may not agree on each and every thing - or its priority - I will love you forever, inclusive of whoever you are in whatever moment. When I left, you looked scared, which reflects in me as an overwhelming fear to think that is the image of you which will forever remain, haunting me until I die my twenty-trillionth death.

I can succumb to being crushed abjectly as happens under Scorpio. I can beg and still be denied resuscitation and Scorpionic redemption through the courage you would need to have to forgive me my frailties. As a person nurtured on the sadistic milk of abandonment, I know how to grieve. As one who has been bound and tied beyond conception, I know you can condemn me to waiting and grieving, eternally seduced by wondering if like Scorpio's mythic Phoenix, our conversation can be resurrected from the ashes and our hearts yet be healed by the touching essence of each other’s emotion-laden, deeply felt, very Scorpionic human existence.

The choice ultimately must be yours, for in my mind I know I will always stand in your presence.

Lost in being found, I merge, I exist.

And without you I will forever yearn, long and wish.

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Whether you relate to the depths of feeling expressed above...
...whether you think they're real or not...
understanding how they represent Scorpio's depth of passion
and the many things in life which force us to get in touch with
our emotions and emotional status is a valid Scorpio statement.
Or it could just be me doing a Scorpio number on you.
Do you know the difference - and which would be which?
Are you sure?
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None of our lives are perfect. And while granted, some of us experience
traumas or horrible mistakes which would seem to scar us forever, the
basic teaching of metaphysics remains true. If 'unbeknownst to us, the
universe is unfolding as it should' has any meaning, it means that the
experience of good and bright of life has equal merit with that which is
dark, painful and frightening.
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I remain of the conviction that human connectivity is our best strength,
and that it cannot accomplish its goal at a shallow level. We have not
been created to have things easy - 'from those to whom much is given,
much is expected' means we have the responsibility to accept who we
are, as difficult as that may be.
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Power and potency of existence are found where they are found.
They may or may not take the shape that you think they 'ought' to
take, and sometimes our path to enlightenment requires of us that
we walk a road which tests our popularity with everyone but our Self.
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That too is valid. We need to be what we need to be, regardless
of what others say, like or find convenient
As the Zen masters say...walk on.
That is the Scorpio ethic and our edict most human.
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2 comments:

  1. Apropos of your Saturn in Scorpio pic, I thought you would enjoy this:

    http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/cassini/multimedia/saturn20131017.html

    Some computer guy is doing his own image processing of raw Cassini data and releasing color images that NASA has not processed yet. Oh you have got to see his flickr photo stream.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/ugordan/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, Charles!

    I'll have to check that out. Meanwhile, I would imagine that NASA is short-circuiting this guy, right? (You gotta figure pissing NASA off is a bad idea, eh?)

    - Boots

    ReplyDelete